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SavannahSunshine's FML badges
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SavannahSunshine's favorite FMLs
Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML
by confusing / 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm / Zimbabwe / Work
Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML
by Apcn / 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/02/2014 at 2:17pm / United States (California) / Love
by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
by angelamegan21 / 05/28/2014 at 4:33pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, my husband thought it would be hilarious to slip a little fake blood into the bathtub while I was relaxing in it, eyes closed. When I opened my eyes, the water was one big cloud of red. I screamed so loud that I might as well have been dying, and yes, he recorded everything. FML
by N O / 05/27/2014 at 2:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 7:37am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Kids
by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by dieana / 05/16/2014 at 8:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, the tornado sirens went off so my family went to the basement and turned on the TV to the local news. The station goes to their sky cam as a trampoline flies by. Quite the sight. When the storm passed, I looked outside to see our trampoline was gone. It was the one flying by on TV. FML
by Gone With the Wind / 05/11/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML
by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by shylahrc / 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML
by have it your way / 04/29/2014 at 3:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML
by god / 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I overheard my ex bragging to his buddies about how freaky his new girlfriend is, what with… Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there… Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my…