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SavannahSunshine's FML badges
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SavannahSunshine's favorite FMLs
Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML
by SkiMaskFukd / 05/07/2010 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by ashleeylynn / 03/15/2010 at 11:05am / United States / Money
by Celeste / 03/02/2010 at 4:14am / Singapore / Transportation
Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML
by Scaryman / 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friends house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said "who's this? stop texting me." FML
by Desperate_measures / 01/16/2010 at 7:22am / Greece (Attiki) / Love
Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML
by Arsinoe / 01/05/2010 at 7:02pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Money
by creepyguy / 12/26/2009 at 7:06am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation
by chacha / 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML
by Brian / 10/26/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by lame / 10/20/2009 at 10:04am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by latepayer / 10/13/2009 at 11:04am / United States (Michigan) / Money
by Tally / 09/24/2009 at 12:16pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
by drugged_on_arrival / 09/10/2009 at 6:55am / Virgin Islands British / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…