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SavannahSunshine's FML badges
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SavannahSunshine's favorite FMLs
by loganHchrist / 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML
by Zach Got Robbed / 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML
by stalked / 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML
by bird / 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by tpj24 / 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm / South Africa / Intimacy
Today, I spent nearly half an hour clearing several inches of snow off my car. After almost suffering from hypothermia, I finished. Except the car keys were missing from my pocket, presumably buried under a foot of snow. FML
by frozen solid / 01/05/2014 at 9:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by stopstutteringforSiri / 01/05/2014 at 4:59pm / United States / Love
Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 12:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
by awkwardpartybear / 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML
by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot / 01/04/2014 at 2:21am / United States / Animals