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SavannahSunshine's FML badges
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SavannahSunshine's favorite FMLs
by anal-retentive / 06/23/2016 at 4:00pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I've just moved into a new apartment. It's also the day my big baby of a dog stepped on a rock and began yelping when I tried to touch his paw. He "suddenly" felt better after I carried him inside. Now everyone thinks I'm beating my dog. FML
by DogBeater / 06/20/2016 at 9:21pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by anon / 05/06/2015 at 8:50am / United States (Kansas) / Love
by henrylikestreats / 04/30/2015 at 2:04pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML
by PeppermintPenny / 04/06/2015 at 9:54am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
by Vampire Teabag / 02/12/2015 at 11:25am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/11/2015 at 10:59pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by SDCore / 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/10/2015 at 6:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by LD / 01/23/2015 at 11:46am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
by Jensa / 01/16/2015 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Health
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML
by con135 / 01/12/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML
by paparoach / 12/21/2014 at 2:59am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML
by driven_crazy / 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
by fuckered519 / 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…