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SauceySarah

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SauceySarah
  • Town/Country : USA, ..
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2193
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SauceySarah : Music is my everything. Just a quirky yet rad gal that doesn't really give a shit.
I'm: Sarcastic. Blunt. Annoying.
Forever Alone. By the way, I probably have stalked your account before.

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SauceySarah's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23727) - you deserved it (7633)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27219) - you deserved it (4237)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML

#20125284
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14360) - you deserved it (3246)

On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16403) - you deserved it (1284)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

#20122551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22047) - you deserved it (2618)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12135) - you deserved it (3483)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (3430) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27844) - you deserved it (16777)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18939) - you deserved it (1972)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17224) - you deserved it (2117)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19403) - you deserved it (3819)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25631) - you deserved it (4522)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15052) - you deserved it (6495)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (3184)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States



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