About SauceySarah : Music is my everything. Panic! At The Disco& The Killers Just a teenage girl trying to have fun. I'm: Sarcastic. Blunt. Happy (most of the time). Forever Alone. By the way, I probably have stalked your account before.(:
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24534) - you deserved it (7320)
On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29492) - you deserved it (7949) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version
Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15818) - you deserved it (4161)
On 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm - health - by stupidbullcrêpe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)
Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21933) - you deserved it (1690)
On 08/19/2012 at 1:25am - misc - by JMG - United States
Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23716) - you deserved it (1757)
On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15609) - you deserved it (1051)
On 08/15/2012 at 11:15am - misc - by Bree - United States
Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15468) - you deserved it (4819)
On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)
Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34901) - you deserved it (4107)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25507) - you deserved it (2134)
On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21128) - you deserved it (5060)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21779) - you deserved it (2942)
On 08/03/2012 at 9:52pm - kids - by pimpslaprequired (man) - United States
Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (1809)
On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was fired from my job. My boss turned to everyone and said, "Allow me to escort this trash out of the office." Everyone cheered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9924) - you deserved it (20694)
On 08/02/2012 at 2:50am - work - by Unwanted - United States (California)
Today, my OCD boyfriend stopped mid-way through sex just to crack all ten of his knuckles after accidentally cracking one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19811) - you deserved it (3467)
On 07/29/2012 at 9:34am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14201) - you deserved it (1571)
On 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Midlothian)
Monday 17 June 2013
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