Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SauceySarah

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

SauceySarah

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3201
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SauceySarah : My whole existence is an anomaly. Music is what makes my life worth living.

SauceySarah's page activity

Visits<b>MountainGiant87</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:38pm<b>gunner_12</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:16pm<b>supreme_umbra</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:11am<b>Krbsmommy</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:39am<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:32am<b>Stealth_Pilot</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 8:05am<b>awesomesausage</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 5:21pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:56pm<b>tuscumbia</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 8:13pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:59pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:19am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:56am<b>subhaan786</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:14pm<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:01am<b>Alexeon</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 4:05am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:14pm

SauceySarah's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of SauceySarah's badges

SauceySarah's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7193) - you deserved it (29739)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

#19527875
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24797) - you deserved it (7763)

On 04/25/2012 at 4:06pm - kids - by KC (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21761) - you deserved it (2680)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23353) - you deserved it (2651)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22856) - you deserved it (2805)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9591) - you deserved it (23943)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

#19517989
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29859) - you deserved it (5478)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

#19517748
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13490) - you deserved it (48401)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26519) - you deserved it (10994)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (3830)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

#19505040
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21825) - you deserved it (4177)

On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML

#19495086
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6540) - you deserved it (20562)

On 04/19/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9293) - you deserved it (17845)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30748) - you deserved it (2595)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19158) - you deserved it (36697)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: