Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SauceySarah

Offline (54 minutes ago) | Search for a member

SauceySarah

8Liked!

SauceySarah
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4671
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About SauceySarah : My whole existence is an anomaly. Music is what makes my life worth living.

SauceySarah's page activity

Visits<b>xninix</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 9:29pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:03pm<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 11:23pm<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 7:21pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 8:08pm<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 12:32pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 11:50am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 8:32am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 6:52am<b>brutally</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 4:42am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 10:08pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 7:46pm<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 6:19pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:53pm<b>Nickb55</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 9:41am<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 9:34am<b>Valiantonias</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 8:45am<b>AGB10</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 8:33am

Liked!<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:35am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:00pm<b>RA91</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:20pm<b>supreme_umbra</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 4:54am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:52am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:59am<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 4:30am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:31am

SauceySarah's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of SauceySarah's badges

SauceySarah's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22759) - you deserved it (3070)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23349) - you deserved it (4281)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27571) - you deserved it (4733)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18642) - you deserved it (7170)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34200) - you deserved it (3548)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

#20102155
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30233) - you deserved it (3717)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML

#20100764
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7541) - you deserved it (28494)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35712) - you deserved it (4852)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33271) - you deserved it (2549)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML

#20098216
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12445) - you deserved it (24145)

On 10/02/2012 at 10:42am - love - by Queso Dog (woman) - Japan

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34001) - you deserved it (2352)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

#20098049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20260) - you deserved it (6937)

On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27032) - you deserved it (3448)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10044) - you deserved it (26793)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: