Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SauceySarah

Search for a member

SauceySarah

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2841
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SauceySarah : My whole existence is an anomaly. Music is what makes my life worth living.

SauceySarah's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - yesterday at 11:48am<b>SLSmith0815</b> - yesterday at 11:21am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:55am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:13pm<b>MRP360</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:47am<b>ThatOneGuy719</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:10am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:37am<b>kota2165</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:24pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:42pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 10:14pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:26am<b>MrCafe</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 1:30pm<b>DeathMetalSlam</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 1:38pm<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 7:23am<b>712sash</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 1:16am<b>TXFernwoods</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 4:03pm<b>jtthegr8</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 1:33am

SauceySarah's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of SauceySarah's badges

SauceySarah's favorite FMLs

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24237) - you deserved it (53595)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told I pull the "whole grunge look" off quite well. I don't dress "grunge", nor was that my intention. FML

#21071401
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (4377)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59pm - misc - by ashleylynn17 (woman) -

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

#21058436
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43647) - you deserved it (6495)

On 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

#21054270
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36394) - you deserved it (6357)

On 02/08/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by grandma - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48573) - you deserved it (15894)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43292) - you deserved it (4333)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

#21020870
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34134) - you deserved it (30991)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

#21016204
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48480) - you deserved it (5058)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46951) - you deserved it (10939)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44873) - you deserved it (22503)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53145) - you deserved it (7009)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46851) - you deserved it (4436)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28935) - you deserved it (13520)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51939) - you deserved it (4120)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: