Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SauceySarah

Search for a member

SauceySarah

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2895
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SauceySarah : My whole existence is an anomaly. Music is what makes my life worth living.

SauceySarah's page activity

Visits<b>effedupfml</b> - one hour ago<b>sardonique</b> - 2 hours ago<b>MissSpecialEd</b> - 2 hours ago<b>braidenjvb</b> - 3 hours ago<b>daveyyyyh</b> - 3 hours ago<b>xxjaysusxx</b> - 4 hours ago<b>inner_peace</b> - 4 hours ago<b>BunchieRules</b> - 5 hours ago<b>maharb01</b> - 5 hours ago<b>v8nick97</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Avenueoftrees</b> - 6 hours ago<b>moksha</b> - 7 hours ago<b>MRP360</b> - 7 hours ago<b>andrewhoyt</b> - 8 hours ago<b>swharley</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Dozer1988</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Bobby100</b> - 10 hours ago<b>jossii</b> - 10 hours ago

SauceySarah's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of SauceySarah's badges

SauceySarah's favorite FMLs

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42751) - you deserved it (6109)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

#21161395
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40917) - you deserved it (15518)

On 06/03/2014 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46776) - you deserved it (4935)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45984) - you deserved it (5111)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45742) - you deserved it (5288)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40953) - you deserved it (8056)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31526) - you deserved it (50623)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38395) - you deserved it (3121)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43466) - you deserved it (4972)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38133) - you deserved it (6601)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42708) - you deserved it (6236)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (32011)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

#21092620
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34082) - you deserved it (7091)

On 03/21/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by richard (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43389) - you deserved it (4051)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

#21075644
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47056) - you deserved it (6663)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: