Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SauceySarah

Online | Search for a member

SauceySarah

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3020
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About SauceySarah : My whole existence is an anomaly. Music is what makes my life worth living.

SauceySarah's page activity

Visits<b>tuscumbia</b> - yesterday at 8:13pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:59pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 4:19am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 12:56am<b>subhaan786</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:14pm<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:17am<b>Cacksonic</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:01am<b>Alexeon</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 4:05am<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:14pm<b>cba7</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:18am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:38pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 12:42pm<b>kandee_bc</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 11:45pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:39pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:32am<b>Jaragon</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:49am<b>Feijai</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:06am

SauceySarah's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of SauceySarah's badges

SauceySarah's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37602) - you deserved it (13427)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44964) - you deserved it (4387)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36138) - you deserved it (3104)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33917) - you deserved it (4937)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss pretty much told me that I'm too ugly to meet clients, and should stay in the office doing the paperwork. So basically, I'm a modern day Hunchback of Notre Dame. FML

#21232284
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36663) - you deserved it (3169)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:13am - work - by Anonymous - Singapore

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48213) - you deserved it (20945)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42863) - you deserved it (6120)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

#21161395
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41376) - you deserved it (15549)

On 06/03/2014 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46832) - you deserved it (4941)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46049) - you deserved it (5118)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45812) - you deserved it (5295)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I baked a strawberry cake and I didn't have any fresh strawberries for garnish, so I used a can of strawberry pie filling. My neighbors said it looked like the cake was taken from the dumpster behind an abortion clinic. FML

#21146042
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40986) - you deserved it (8058)

On 05/20/2014 at 5:54am - misc - by sothishappened (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32393) - you deserved it (51886)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

#21129926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38429) - you deserved it (3123)

On 05/03/2014 at 7:51pm - misc - by shylahrc - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43501) - you deserved it (4975)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: