Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SauceySarah

Offline (33 minutes ago) | Search for a member

SauceySarah

6Liked!

SauceySarahSauceySarah
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3858
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About SauceySarah : My whole existence is an anomaly. Music is what makes my life worth living.

SauceySarah's page activity

Visits<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 2:24am<b>Austrand22</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 9:31pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Mathis92987</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 11:38am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:59am<b>batman105</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 6:19am<b>gary3768</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 2:02am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:54pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:36pm<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:58pm<b>murtaza95</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:40pm<b>davidxflow</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:27am<b>RA91</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 7:20am<b>Almost_Positive</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 5:05am<b>jeremy1993</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:13am<b>Narayan96</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:55am<b>adrianvons</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:50am<b>404usernotfound</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:40am

Liked!<b>RA91</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:20pm<b>supreme_umbra</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 4:54am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 9:52am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:59am<b>whatshisname1066</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 4:30am<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:31am

SauceySarah's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of SauceySarah's badges

SauceySarah's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31556) - you deserved it (3873)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (2915)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29607) - you deserved it (3034)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31268) - you deserved it (3278)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26750) - you deserved it (2941)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32202) - you deserved it (4447)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32525) - you deserved it (4550)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36374) - you deserved it (10595)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32193) - you deserved it (3358)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40597) - you deserved it (6340)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35723) - you deserved it (3648)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

#21257293
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32241) - you deserved it (16097)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:29am - misc - by Nat - United States (Texas)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41774) - you deserved it (7881)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41345) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44368) - you deserved it (16474)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: