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SaturnV

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SaturnV

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 January 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2489
  • Number of comments : 202
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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SaturnV's favorite FMLs

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37172) - you deserved it (4083)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML

#20423057
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30175) - you deserved it (2374)

On 12/26/2012 at 3:53am - misc - by Shelle (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

#20420433
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18388) - you deserved it (50574)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55740) - you deserved it (9892)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30168) - you deserved it (8608)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (1642)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

#20185753
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7735) - you deserved it (18540)

On 11/30/2012 at 7:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22990) - you deserved it (2378)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

#20164798
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28032) - you deserved it (2319)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:45pm - love - by Sexting Parents - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24543) - you deserved it (3523)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21373) - you deserved it (1360)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31218) - you deserved it (6236)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23353) - you deserved it (2124)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

#20110797
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21497) - you deserved it (1960)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML

#20096195
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25065) - you deserved it (6489)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)



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