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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (16455) - you deserved it (9045)
On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my furnace and all of my heating systems broke down. A fridge is 3 degrees Celsius; it is now 2 degrees Celsius in my house. I would be warmer in my fridge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23193) - you deserved it (1198)
On 12/12/2009 at 11:55am - health - by FrozenD - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7788) - you deserved it (25194)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9560) - you deserved it (24399)
On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5086) - you deserved it (19036)
On 12/09/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by HarryBeast (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (1424)
On 12/06/2009 at 8:24am - misc - by flying_vegan - United Kingdom
Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26315) - you deserved it (1895)
On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5087) - you deserved it (22130)
On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - animals - by jaydiv (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)
Today, as a customer was trying on some outfits, I randomly gazed over at her husband for his opinion. The response I got? Him licking his lips. Just then his wife looked up to see me gawking at him in shock. She yelled at me to "close my legs and stop checking out her man". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18822) - you deserved it (2259)
On 11/16/2009 at 2:00am - work - by Yapanesedidwhat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (2496)
On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31980) - you deserved it (3701)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:17am - misc - by stubblebutt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30019) - you deserved it (4752)
On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23779) - you deserved it (3209)
On 10/27/2009 at 3:35pm - animals - by freylero - United Kingdom (Greater London)
Today, I was reading in my bed, and my cat was lying on my chest. I noticed something white on my cat's leg. I'm far-sighted and wasn't wearing my glasses, so I didn't see what it was. I touched it and put on my glasses. Turns out it was a worm hanging out of my cat's anus. It started wiggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30012) - you deserved it (3817)
On 10/26/2009 at 12:42pm - animals - by K.H (man) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29365) - you deserved it (7287)
On 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by roadbikemama (woman) - United States (California)
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