SarahPilko

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SarahPilko

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1470
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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SarahPilko's page activity

Visits<b>chadwj</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 12:12am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:29pm<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 05/05/2011 at 4:55am

SarahPilko's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of SarahPilko's badges

SarahPilko's favorite FMLs

Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML

by anonymous / 03/28/2011 at 2:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

by upliftmofo / 03/28/2011 at 1:56am / Belgium / Animals

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

by freshman / 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

by mugged / 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

by pissfaced / 01/02/2010 at 8:41am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

by drunkennight / 11/22/2009 at 10:45pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous