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SarahPilko

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SarahPilko

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 911
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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SarahPilko's page activity

Visits<b>chadwj</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 12:12am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:29pm<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 05/05/2011 at 4:55am

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50 favourites

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SarahPilko's favorite FMLs

Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML

#15531750
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39680) - you deserved it (5002)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:48pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

#15525656
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31646) - you deserved it (5456)

On 03/28/2011 at 1:56am - animals - by upliftmofo - Belgium

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML

#15486650
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8438) - you deserved it (52996)

On 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm - misc - by freshman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47033) - you deserved it (4449)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

#15401896
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34821) - you deserved it (4337)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14918) - you deserved it (48533)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37989) - you deserved it (7989)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68924) - you deserved it (7758)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68924) - you deserved it (7758)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

#7548356
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29873) - you deserved it (8348)

On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

#7490494
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65494) - you deserved it (4238)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25412) - you deserved it (32432)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7260) - you deserved it (65365)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I woke up after a night out at the bar, immediately remembering that I had lost my cell phone, my ID and somehow spent $100. Feeling like shit already, my friend then goes on to tell me that I flashed the entire bar, and ran around the hotel naked. FML

#6414325
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7183) - you deserved it (37266)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by drunkennight (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)



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