Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About SapphireLips : You must've seen my picture on a comment I made huh? I don't care as long as you don't stalk me.
By the way my birthday is really November 1st but apparently FML hates it and keeps saying my birthdays in October.
About me? Well I'm sarcastic and half the time only a few people get my humor. I like reading FMLs because it's kinda funny what people get into in their lives. I like video games and writing.
Oh and if I spell something wrong I don't really care because I only read FMLs on my iPod so yeah.
I could say I'm friendly and likable an have a decent amount of friends. I could say more but I'm lazy so later.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Today, I had an hour long meeting with my manager where she informed me the reason I had not been promoted is because she felt that people would not like to work for me, because I would, "make them do their job." FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML
Monday 1 September 2014