Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SapphireLips

Search for a member

SapphireLips

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 November 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 195
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SapphireLips : You must've seen my picture on a comment I made huh? I don't care as long as you don't stalk me.

By the way my birthday is really November 1st but apparently FML hates it and keeps saying my birthdays in October.

About me? Well I'm sarcastic and half the time only a few people get my humor. I like reading FMLs because it's kinda funny what people get into in their lives. I like video games and writing.

Oh and if I spell something wrong I don't really care because I only read FMLs on my iPod so yeah.

I could say I'm friendly and likable an have a decent amount of friends. I could say more but I'm lazy so later.

SapphireLips's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of SapphireLips's badges

SapphireLips's favorite FMLs

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36211) - you deserved it (9031)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

#19889661
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11722) - you deserved it (26471)

On 07/04/2012 at 5:04am - health - by magicman - United States

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

#19884123
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33714) - you deserved it (2263)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31663) - you deserved it (4923)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

#19881083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24624) - you deserved it (1656)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML

#19871272
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22448) - you deserved it (1885)

On 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by babyeaternomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

#19870672
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50707) - you deserved it (2329)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:48am - health - by Jobby (woman) -

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29397) - you deserved it (8465)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22069) - you deserved it (2849)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24620) - you deserved it (3218)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML

#19812575
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31120) - you deserved it (3001)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML

#19811574
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22124) - you deserved it (2246)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by StungAlot (woman) - United States

Today, I had an hour long meeting with my manager where she informed me the reason I had not been promoted is because she felt that people would not like to work for me, because I would, "make them do their job." FML

#19811134
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24929) - you deserved it (1748)

On 06/19/2012 at 3:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28715) - you deserved it (2889)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML

#19805199
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22004) - you deserved it (3538)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:57am - love - by crazybitch - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: