About SapphireLips : You must've seen my picture on a comment I made huh? I don't care as long as you don't stalk me.
By the way my birthday is really November 1st but apparently FML hates it and keeps saying my birthdays in October.
About me? Well I'm sarcastic and half the time only a few people get my humor. I like reading FMLs because it's kinda funny what people get into in their lives. I like video games and writing.
Oh and if I spell something wrong I don't really care because I only read FMLs on my iPod so yeah.
I could say I'm friendly and likable an have a decent amount of friends. I could say more but I'm lazy so later.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
I agree, your life sucks (29239) - you deserved it (6967)
On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8697) - you deserved it (3661)
On 07/04/2012 at 5:04am - health - by magicman - United States
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26772) - you deserved it (1546)
On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22926) - you deserved it (3474)
On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19653) - you deserved it (1355)
On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)
Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14041) - you deserved it (29674)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States
Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16880) - you deserved it (1288)
On 06/30/2012 at 12:22pm - misc - by babyeaternomnom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41981) - you deserved it (1590)
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (6168)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)
Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16305) - you deserved it (1978)
On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18695) - you deserved it (2209)
On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23671) - you deserved it (2039)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17241) - you deserved it (1520)
On 06/19/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by StungAlot (woman) - United States
Today, I had an hour long meeting with my manager where she informed me the reason I had not been promoted is because she felt that people would not like to work for me, because I would, "make them do their job." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19063) - you deserved it (1126)
On 06/19/2012 at 3:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23077) - you deserved it (2056)
On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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