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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 November 1982 (33 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 701
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Samuraiguy : Awesome jewish guy

Samuraiguy's page activity

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Samuraiguy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54274) - you deserved it (7741)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45107) - you deserved it (20823)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15662) - you deserved it (38992)

On 08/19/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Keldar (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10259) - you deserved it (69445)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:30pm - love - by Ohfman117 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63820) - you deserved it (9277)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML


I agree, your life sucks (76677) - you deserved it (20156)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML


I agree, your life sucks (68030) - you deserved it (21275)

On 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm - misc - by poop - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49488) - you deserved it (7578)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)

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  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

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