Samster2000

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Offline (the 07/04/2014 at 7:45pm)

Samster2000

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 September 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5752
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Samster2000's page activity

Visits<b>Kirby511</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 2:46pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:57pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:43pm<b>vb68</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:37pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:35am<b>munuxi</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:06am<b>sidr22</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Atoraya96</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 4:45am<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:13pm<b>NoahA219</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 2:24pm<b>jasonmar</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:32am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 4:20pm<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:12pm<b>jujuthefroggy</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:03pm<b>karilynn27</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:02pm<b>krystalclear</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 12:54am<b>garrett1999o3</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 7:13pm<b>bryonyb33</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 4:59am

Samster2000's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

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Samster2000's favorite FMLs

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML

by hoaloha / 07/30/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

by sy123 / 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

by sy123 / 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

by owwwww / 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML

by tapeissticky591 / 07/14/2012 at 1:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

by joanne / 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my first ever job interview, in a totally stressed out state. The employer's first question was: "What's your name?" I forgot. FML

by Anonyme / 05/29/2012 at 6:19am / Work

Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML

by Ladieda / 05/28/2012 at 6:15am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

by Broon / 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Transportation

Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML

by whinywiper / 05/25/2012 at 11:10am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, there is an annual solar eclipse. As I was buying the last pair of solar glasses to watch the eclipse with, some jerk snatched them out of my hands and bolted off with them. I now have to make the decision between watching the eclipse and not going blind. FML

by VocalizedBoar / 05/20/2012 at 7:35pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Money