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Perfectionist
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7391) - you deserved it (11217)
On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20565) - you deserved it (1857)
On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I fell and hit my head on hard concrete. When I went to the emergency room for a CT Scan, the nurse hit me in the head with an IV pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19466) - you deserved it (1207)
On 04/28/2012 at 2:52am - health - by mark807 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19965) - you deserved it (2118)
On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17490) - you deserved it (1467)
On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States
Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17708) - you deserved it (2321) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Magicgwen - Sent from mobile version
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35460) - you deserved it (2172)
On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16732) - you deserved it (1182)
On 04/22/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by AngryLittleMan - United States
Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18398) - you deserved it (1785)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by Gitana (woman) - Spain (Navarra)
Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28725) - you deserved it (2216)
On 04/22/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by Capteen (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11699) - you deserved it (6654)
On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18921) - you deserved it (1271)
On 04/19/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by MI3 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19493) - you deserved it (1552)
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28485) - you deserved it (2406)
On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22428) - you deserved it (2160)
On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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