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Perfectionist
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (936)
On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (936)
On 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm - health - by sy123 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19467) - you deserved it (2061)
On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7723) - you deserved it (21678)
On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20693) - you deserved it (2962)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia
Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12966) - you deserved it (1043)
On 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by joanne (woman) - United States
Today, I went to my first ever job interview, in a totally stressed out state. The employer's first question was: "What's your name?" I forgot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14259) - you deserved it (6522) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23389) - you deserved it (1482)
On 05/28/2012 at 6:15am - misc - by Ladieda (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13656) - you deserved it (1641)
On 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by Broon (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)
Today, I realized that the reason there is no toilet paper in the house is because both my parents are too stubborn to be the one who goes out to buy more. It's been five days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13364) - you deserved it (2297)
Today, there is an annular solar eclipse. As I was buying the last pair of solar glasses to watch the eclipse with, some jerk snatched them out of my hands and bolted off with them. I now have to make the decision between watching the eclipse and not going blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13512) - you deserved it (2344)
On 05/20/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by VocalizedBoar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23162) - you deserved it (1216)
On 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (1288)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)
Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8438) - you deserved it (21832)
On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States
Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14177) - you deserved it (1605)
On 05/01/2012 at 1:14am - love - by monkeywrench (woman) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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