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Perfectionist
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17330) - you deserved it (2006)
On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22008) - you deserved it (1443)
On 08/18/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by sneaky1324 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48961) - you deserved it (2183)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:09am - misc - by Just_Me_88 - United States (Oregon)
Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29286) - you deserved it (2817)
On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19578) - you deserved it (1880)
On 08/15/2012 at 7:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, my fiancée showed me her wedding plans. It will be themed on one of her video games, the best man will be dressed as an alien warlord, and the vows talk about how we'll beat the odds and be blessed by the "Goddess Kalahira". Apparently, I have no say in this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16708) - you deserved it (4702)
On 08/14/2012 at 6:50pm - love - by cestquoicebordel?? (man) - France
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21780) - you deserved it (1118)
On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)
Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22161) - you deserved it (1324)
On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22502) - you deserved it (5284)
On 08/11/2012 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dafuqdidihear (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22502) - you deserved it (5284)
On 08/11/2012 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dafuqdidihear (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27449) - you deserved it (3116)
On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)
Today, I discovered the crunching noise your foot will make if you accidentally drop a cement block on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20284) - you deserved it (1696)
On 08/09/2012 at 3:33pm - health - by flatfoot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22818) - you deserved it (2188)
On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States
Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16002) - you deserved it (9986)
On 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6334) - you deserved it (13054)
On 07/30/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by hoaloha - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
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