Samster2000

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Samster2000

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 September 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6647
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Samster2000's page activity

Visits<b>Kirby511</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 2:46pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:57pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:43pm<b>vb68</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:37pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:35am<b>munuxi</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:06am<b>sidr22</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Atoraya96</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 4:45am<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:13pm<b>NoahA219</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 2:24pm<b>jasonmar</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:32am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 4:20pm<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:12pm<b>jujuthefroggy</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:03pm<b>karilynn27</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:02pm<b>krystalclear</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 12:54am<b>garrett1999o3</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 7:13pm<b>bryonyb33</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 4:59am

Samster2000's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Perfectionist

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Samster2000's favorite FMLs

Today, an elderly gentleman walked into the UPS Store where I work asking to use the laminating machine. I explained to him that we keep it behind the counter and I would do it for him, when he produced several graphic photos of him having it off with nasty looking women to be laminated. FML

by UhhhUhhhRRRick / 03/05/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

by sammatthews2007 / 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I spent 600 dollars to have my brakes fixed on my car, they weren't squeaking. I got my car back and now the brakes squeal and my air conditioning won't work. I just spent 600 dollars to break my car even more. FML

by StupidCar / 02/07/2009 at 3:56pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

by RustyBulletHole / 02/04/2009 at 2:53am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

by buddy / 01/26/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm flying out of the country in a few hours. A plane from the same airline just crashed into the Hudson River and is now floating in it. FML

by Tom / 01/15/2009 at 10:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

by Gale / 01/13/2009 at 10:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find that the large container of leftover beef stroganoff that I put down the garbage disposal last night had backed up into my bathtub this morning. FML

by Noname / 01/09/2009 at 6:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I withdrew $120 from the ATM at the hotel I'm staying at, only to have no money come out. When I talked to the concierge, who witnessed the whole thing, she said it had been happening all day and that the machine was broken. My bank says it's the hotel's problem, and the hotel says it's the bank's problem. Either way, I'm out $120. FML

by / 01/04/2009 at 12:24am / Money

Today, a girl in my class turned around and said, "Wow, you've got your photo on a rubber! That's amazing!" The rubber was designed to look like a £10 note, and the picture was of the Queen of England. FML

by Elizabeth / 12/11/2008 at 12:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a transatlantic flight, ear plugs in my ears. The steward walked past with a plastic bag. I threw my litter into it and didn't immediately understand why he said, "Very funny, sir." It wasn't a bin bag, he was collecting for Unicef. FML

by greg76 / 12/06/2008 at 10:49pm / Transportation

Today, for the 25th time, an Indian called my cell phone asking for 'Pinkie'. I don't know who the hell Pinkie is, but I don't appreciate people calling wrong numbers while I'm having it off. FML

by Hth / 11/07/2008 at 8:07pm / United States (Delaware) / Love