Samster2000

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Samster2000

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 September 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7110
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Samster2000's page activity

Visits<b>Kirby511</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 2:46pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:57pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:43pm<b>vb68</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:37pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:35am<b>munuxi</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:06am<b>sidr22</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Atoraya96</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 4:45am<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:13pm<b>NoahA219</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 2:24pm<b>jasonmar</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:32am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 4:20pm<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:12pm<b>jujuthefroggy</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:03pm<b>karilynn27</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:02pm<b>krystalclear</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 12:54am<b>garrett1999o3</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 7:13pm<b>bryonyb33</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 4:59am

Samster2000's FML badges

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Samster2000's favorite FMLs

Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 3:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML

by Hooker / 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML

by grandson of a p.o.s. / 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

by wow / 03/14/2013 at 11:43am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

by ShadowBox / 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the "Child Care and Development" class at my high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week. I can't even read a page of my notes without hearing a robotic crying noise. Today is the first day. FML

by Headache / 03/01/2013 at 8:20am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

by LucidNightmare / 01/27/2013 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

by catdog / 01/02/2013 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

by bestnameright / 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.