Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Samster2000

Search for a member

Samster2000
  • Town/Country : Bourne, United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 September 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 1980
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Samster2000's last visitors

graffitied_lovejasonmarBellaBelleSMHsohardjujuthefroggykarilynn27bryonyb33

Samster2000's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Samster2000's badges

Samster2000's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

#8862366
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5734) - you deserved it (33807)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by drunk (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

#8611277
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26059) - you deserved it (2651)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101052) - you deserved it (11756)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

#7380749
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55904) - you deserved it (6391)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27679) - you deserved it (2106)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

#7198019
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31018) - you deserved it (2439)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:50am - misc - by TJ (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33624) - you deserved it (2494)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

#7124695
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7228) - you deserved it (22487)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my little brother got mad at me, so he colored the entire screen of my new iPod Touch with a black sharpie. FML

#6780706
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31856) - you deserved it (4414)

On 12/16/2009 at 6:01pm - misc - by epiiphany (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

#6613935
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29777) - you deserved it (2939)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML

#6580570
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36471) - you deserved it (1692)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I received a $500 fine for an "unruly" dog. I don't have a dog. FML

#6484371
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26153) - you deserved it (1721)

On 11/27/2009 at 8:48pm - animals - by bill - United States

Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML

#6313521
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (1549)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by theropod (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

#6265559
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27040) - you deserved it (4080)

On 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm - misc - by DangerZone (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: