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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 September 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6887
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Samster2000's page activity

Visits<b>Kirby511</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 2:46pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 12:57pm<b>M3DO</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:43pm<b>vb68</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:37pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:35am<b>munuxi</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:06am<b>sidr22</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Atoraya96</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 4:45am<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:13pm<b>NoahA219</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 2:24pm<b>jasonmar</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:32am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 4:20pm<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:12pm<b>jujuthefroggy</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:03pm<b>karilynn27</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:02pm<b>krystalclear</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 12:54am<b>garrett1999o3</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 7:13pm<b>bryonyb33</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 4:59am

Samster2000's FML badges

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Samster2000's favorite FMLs

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

by puzzled / 02/24/2010 at 7:58am / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML

by Maxwell / 02/04/2010 at 5:47am / Money

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

by doesnttastegood / 02/01/2010 at 5:23am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

by Awkward / 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

by PeanutlyDisabled / 01/08/2010 at 2:23am / France / Kids

Today, my friend whacked me on the family jewels while I was washing my hands in the college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

by TJ / 01/07/2010 at 11:50am / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

by Soresack / 01/04/2010 at 8:34am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2010 at 11:35am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little brother got mad at me, so he colored the entire screen of my new iPod Touch with a black sharpie. FML

by epiiphany / 12/16/2009 at 6:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

by thewallrules / 12/05/2009 at 9:10am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my very traditional grandmother has decided it's time for me to get married to Kevin. She's called half the town and informed them of the good news. I'm 17. I've never met Kevin. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 4:47am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I received a $500 fine for an "unruly" dog. I don't have a dog. FML

by bill / 11/27/2009 at 8:48pm / United States / Animals

Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML

by theropod / 11/15/2009 at 2:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

by DangerZone / 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

by homewrecker / 11/08/2009 at 10:39am / United States / Love