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Perfectionist
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36557) - you deserved it (2260)
On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58450) - you deserved it (8019)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (4451)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by 1357katie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15464) - you deserved it (2686)
On 09/18/2009 at 4:41am - misc - by MissMSE (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47138) - you deserved it (3891)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a knock on my door at 3AM. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (10759)
On 08/28/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chasingcars0624 - United States
Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12586) - you deserved it (32718)
On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52602) - you deserved it (5719)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (61544)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I missed my flight. Why? My niece thought it would be funny to empty out my suitcase and hide inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43455) - you deserved it (2924)
On 08/02/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Inch'on-jikhalsi)
Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37275) - you deserved it (21689)
On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)
Today, I learned when you're babysitting a 5 year old, and you hear the toilet flush and then the words "uh oh", it's already too late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34032) - you deserved it (4861)
On 07/20/2009 at 2:45pm - kids - by Pooperscooper - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44361) - you deserved it (1559)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35357) - you deserved it (19730)
On 07/06/2009 at 12:54pm - love - by spitballer1 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51531) - you deserved it (2905)
On 06/25/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by dazedandconfused (woman) - United Kingdom (Harrow)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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