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Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I lost power. That didn't stop my house alarm from running on battery, loudly informing me in a British accent, "AC power disconnected. BEEP. AC power disconnected. BEEP." It's been going on for 5 hours and the battery takes a special screwdriver to remove. One we don't have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17718) - you deserved it (2669)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by Beepbeepbeep (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local pizza hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19087) - you deserved it (1561)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:14pm - misc - by Marty - United States (Michigan)
Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21438) - you deserved it (3871)
On 08/22/2011 at 10:57am - animals - by rearwindow - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17776) - you deserved it (2614)
On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was presented with a bill for $27,601 by my single, alcoholic, deadbeat father. Why? "For having to raise your goddamn lazy ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (1881)
On 08/03/2011 at 12:45am - money - by bigbill - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20047) - you deserved it (4448)
On 08/01/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by vsf - United States
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (24649)
On 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by iannie - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I learned that horror movies do not exaggerate the pain of getting your nails ripped from your fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (2183)
On 07/27/2011 at 5:28pm - health - by IIIlibras (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20614) - you deserved it (3170)
On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29658) - you deserved it (2351)
On 07/06/2011 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26550) - you deserved it (2574)
On 07/04/2011 at 5:42am - work - by crudofalife - United States (Illinois)
Today, my sister was on shrooms. I wasn't able to tackle her before she called the cops to say that her books were trying to eat her face off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25406) - you deserved it (2574)
On 07/01/2011 at 3:41am - misc - by ugh annoying - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44011) - you deserved it (3610)
On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)
Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38404) - you deserved it (3263)
On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32659) - you deserved it (11852)
On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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