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Samster2000

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Samster2000
  • Town/Country : Bourne, United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 September 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 1968
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Samster2000's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

#19499543
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14855) - you deserved it (8736)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

#19494291
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22663) - you deserved it (2149)

On 04/19/2012 at 2:24am - money - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35864) - you deserved it (3391)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you deserved it (2774)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22277) - you deserved it (2559)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, I had to tell a parent about her son kicking a boy in his class. She blamed me for not watching him. I wasn't watching him because I was turned around to care for another boy he had hit right before that. FML

#19316250
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20845) - you deserved it (1447)

On 03/20/2012 at 8:23pm - kids - by LadyJ (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

#19296318
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18855) - you deserved it (1691)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21705) - you deserved it (1797)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16467) - you deserved it (28438)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39755) - you deserved it (4238)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I received a package from an unknown address. Inside were doll heads and cigarette butts. FML

#18903953
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23061) - you deserved it (1531)

On 01/24/2012 at 11:51pm - misc - by JellitonOctopus - United States (California)

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

#18888534
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14614) - you deserved it (6069)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36766) - you deserved it (3391)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India



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