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Perfectionist
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37848) - you deserved it (2896)
On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35501) - you deserved it (4880)
On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30902) - you deserved it (6405)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78322) - you deserved it (4470)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44872) - you deserved it (3101)
On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML
I agree, your life sucks (44038) - you deserved it (6068)
On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57523) - you deserved it (8154)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51295) - you deserved it (3371)
On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States
Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40365) - you deserved it (2461)
On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States
Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54537) - you deserved it (9167)
On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)
Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41813) - you deserved it (4781)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29735) - you deserved it (5480)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29121) - you deserved it (3106)
On 04/02/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32757) - you deserved it (12711)
On 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Hooker (woman) - United States
Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34340) - you deserved it (3685)
On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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