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Samster2000

Offline (the 07/04/2014 at 7:45pm) | Search for a member

Samster2000

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 September 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4663
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Samster2000's page activity

Visits<b>munuxi</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:06am<b>sidr22</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Atoraya96</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 4:45am<b>graffitied_love</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:13pm<b>NoahA219</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 2:24pm<b>jasonmar</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:32am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 4:20pm<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:12pm<b>jujuthefroggy</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:03pm<b>karilynn27</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:02pm<b>krystalclear</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 12:54am<b>garrett1999o3</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 7:13pm<b>bryonyb33</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 4:59am<b>Indexo</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 10:48am<b>Markmx164</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 1:25pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 12:15pm<b>Neonemerld</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 6:13am<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 11/11/2012 at 7:12am

Samster2000's FML badges

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Samster2000's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40457) - you deserved it (3100)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

#20887524
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51301) - you deserved it (4984)

On 09/19/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by monkey (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54028) - you deserved it (4958)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58356) - you deserved it (29082)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I collected my new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all my classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead and have no idea how I supposedly died. FML

#20867417
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50736) - you deserved it (2640)

On 09/04/2013 at 11:59am - work - by resurrected - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49953) - you deserved it (8462)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

#20786268
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44451) - you deserved it (32523) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47206) - you deserved it (6139)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76396) - you deserved it (3865)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55200) - you deserved it (9458)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54115) - you deserved it (3472)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49068) - you deserved it (14031)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium



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