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SammyMarieX

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SammyMarieX

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 April 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 126
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SammyMarieX : My name's Sam. I have a dark sense of humor. I enjoy watching family guy, and long walks to the fridge. I'm about 95% food, 5% love.

SammyMarieX's page activity

Visits<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 2:53am

SammyMarieX's FML badges

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SammyMarieX's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19578) - you deserved it (6370)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37731) - you deserved it (8102)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32635) - you deserved it (9078)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

#18086799
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34212) - you deserved it (8078)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, my husband bought me a cinnamon roll because my blood sugar was dangerously low. My first bite was easily the most delicious thing I'd eaten since getting pregnant. As I sat in frosting coated ecstasy, my husband snatched up the rest of the pastry and finished it himself. FML

#17511750
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (3998)

On 08/18/2011 at 5:41pm - health - by AmySweet - United States (Washington)

Today, my mum told me how I was only here because my dad couldn't pull out in time. FML

#14671096
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38289) - you deserved it (3182)

On 01/22/2011 at 5:03am - intimacy - by Theaccident (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML

#14153563
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42000) - you deserved it (4761)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by RevolutionLove - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (20887)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34362) - you deserved it (3919)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53762) - you deserved it (3868)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

#11943305
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14717) - you deserved it (52995)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:23pm - misc - by knighton16 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got called a f***ing b**ch by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML

#10851356
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44997) - you deserved it (6547)

On 05/29/2010 at 10:36pm - work - by love_today - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so I tell her to keep it down and remind her my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later I get a text from my sister saying my parents want to make sure I'm wearing a condom. FML

#7222558
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8190) - you deserved it (22705)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by awskme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

#6783679
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31535) - you deserved it (22731)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I'm self conscious about my weight. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry babe, I've always been kind of a chubby chaser." FML

#6430848
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22907) - you deserved it (7012)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:03am - health - by cc (woman) - United States (Washington)



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