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Today... I Ad To Taac Grandma Ow To Burn Filas To CDs. I Jokingly Said Tat It Doasn't Involva Litarally Burning Ta Disks In Fira... To Wic Sa Raspondad By Slapping Ma An Calling Ma A Patronizing Brat. FML
Taday I Found Out The Fund-raiser Uncle Ran To Raise Money For His Cancer Treatment Was All A Sham, That He Doesn't Even Have Cancer, And That The Money Was To Fund A Coke Habit Nobody Knew He Even Had. FML
Today, I was sitting in ma bedroom relaxingen I eard ma little sister and ma broter. Tinking it was cute tey were talking again, I was listening. Tey were not just "talking", tey were making plans on ow to kill me. mega FML
Yesterday Pyromaniac Sister Somehow Got Her Hands On Dad's Lighter And Set Bd Sheets On Fire. My Dad Said I Must Have Provokd Her, And That She Can't Be Blamd For Her Mental Condition. So Now I'm Groundd, And She Has A New Doll House To Calm Her Down.
Today.. . my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permittd to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Drection because so many grls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring . FML
Today, a coworker jokingly notd that mah signature looks like "Pedo" . I couldn't see it that way, so I askd some other people 4 thier opinion . They confessd they'd always thought it lookd like "Pedo", but never said anything . My name is Peele . I've been signing it off as Pedo 4 10 yeres . FML
Today, my teacer took my test along wit anoter student's and gave us bot a zero. Wy? Because we bot ave colds soen we breate troug our nose it makes a sniffle noise. Se tougt we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. mega FML
Today I made a speec in front of my entire graduating class and tere families despite my fear of public speaking . It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at te end . Ten I panicked and instead of waving I lifted my arm straigt out in a Hitler salute . FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Friday 27 March 2015