Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Same_Heart

Online | Search for a member

Same_Heart

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1313
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Same_Heart's page activity

Visits<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:12am<b>Zacky_Chan</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:56pm<b>sNOOBie</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 9:49am

Same_Heart's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Same_Heart's badges

Same_Heart's favorite FMLs

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9977) - you deserved it (1169)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16988) - you deserved it (1299)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

#21395300
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16563) - you deserved it (1930)

On 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband told me he doesn't see the point in trying anymore, and that he no longer loves me. I was devastated. He stayed on the couch while I went to bed. Ten minutes later, he said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep." and asked me to shut up. FML

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

#21394577
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (3294)

On 04/16/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by HM (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

#21394468
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26054) - you deserved it (4153)

On 04/16/2015 at 1:04am - intimacy - by Evra (woman) - United States

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

#21394235
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24425) - you deserved it (2969)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm - misc - by Drill Drilled - United States (California)

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

#21392908
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24590) - you deserved it (4853)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML

#21392817
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (2512)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:46am - kids - by transcendingnerd (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

#21392789
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32576) - you deserved it (2267)

On 04/13/2015 at 5:00am - misc - by yupthissucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

#21392651
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (2309)

On 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm - misc - by mademoiselle meurtre (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27434) - you deserved it (4778)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27434) - you deserved it (4778)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working in the garden, when some fire ants ran up my shorts and bit me on an intimate part of my anatomy. My 4 year old nephew will not stop telling people about my rapid strip tease. FML



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: