Same_Heart

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/03/2015 at 7:29pm)

Same_Heart

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3475
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Same_Heart's page activity

Visits<b>mwali02</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 11:12am<b>Zacky_Chan</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:56pm<b>sNOOBie</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 9:49am

Same_Heart's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Same_Heart's badges

Same_Heart's favorite FMLs

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

by Zufallian / 06/02/2015 at 8:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML

by kash / 06/01/2015 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2015 at 12:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2015 at 3:28am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my daughter's wedding celebration, I was doing a Michael Jackson act with a few buddies. It went well until I did the crotch-grab. I yanked my balls too hard and fell to the floor, writhing in agony in front of nearly 70 guests. FML

by not a kiddy fiddler really / 05/29/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I finally found my watch after weeks searching for it. It was on my teacher's wrist. FML

by concom / 05/27/2015 at 3:40pm / Cyprus / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad stood by and nodded in agreement as my sister told me that my clinical depression is "getting REALLY old." FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2015 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health

Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML

by Frustrated / 05/25/2015 at 1:42pm / United States / Work

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

by WellThatWasRude / 05/25/2015 at 2:30am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

by kalvin / 05/24/2015 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Transportation

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2015 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

by DENTALITY / 05/23/2015 at 7:06am / Norway / Kids

Today, my aunt, whom I live with, told me she is going to move out and demanded her half of the rent back, as she only spent two days a week there. When I told her that's not how rent works, she called my mom to tell her what a failure she had raised. Her own sons are unemployed drug addicts. FML

by Failure / 05/22/2015 at 6:14pm / Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt) / Money

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids