Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Same_Heart

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Same_Heart

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 72
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Same_Heart's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Same_Heart's badges

Same_Heart's favorite FMLs

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27052) - you deserved it (2123)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31171) - you deserved it (8149)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35417) - you deserved it (4380)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

#21282944
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26065) - you deserved it (2571)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:09am - work - by Thewatcher (man) - Mauritius

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34467) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (7059)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, an elderly woman was crossing the street and dropped her bag of groceries. I got out of my car to assist her, but she beat me repeatedly, yelling that I was "enforcing a stereotype". Sorry for trying to help. FML

#21277469
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33114) - you deserved it (2707)

On 10/14/2014 at 3:15am - misc - by I_AM_READING - United States (Alaska)

Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening to their make-up sex. FML

#21275167
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (2838)

On 10/10/2014 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by housewiththinwalls - Sweden

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31232) - you deserved it (18303)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31031) - you deserved it (14279)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street holding my boyfriend's hand, when a seemingly sweet old man said to him, "Hey, you've got to hold her hand properly". I asked him to show me what properly meant. He licked my hand. FML

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

#21273575
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37765) - you deserved it (3598)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by allergic_to_bull (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting a taxi from his place. FML

#21273346
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38227) - you deserved it (3067)

On 10/08/2014 at 5:01am - misc - by rockytrolley - Cyprus

Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML

#21273209
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28150) - you deserved it (2314)

On 10/07/2014 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

#21272968
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30550) - you deserved it (2238)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: