About Samanthaelise777 : Samantha, 20, in love with David Aguilar(:
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Samanthaelise777's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML
by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML
by Anonymous / 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 12:04am / United States (New Mexico) / Kids
by kubbyp / 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML
by Anonymous / 04/01/2014 at 2:06am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
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