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Samandra

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Samandra

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1394
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Samandra : Tacos.

Samandra's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:46pm<b>Effulgence</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 3:05am<b>Skiturtle</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 4:48pm<b>lolle_p0p</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 4:37am<b>A100893</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 4:12am<b>mabel123</b> - the 08/31/2012 at 9:35pm<b>venomousddog</b> - the 08/31/2012 at 1:23pm

Samandra's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Samandra's badges

Samandra's favorite FMLs

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

#850097
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13526) - you deserved it (158549)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

#833140
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (149940)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:42am - money - by brhorton02 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19088) - you deserved it (253381)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML

#745352
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51244) - you deserved it (66576)

On 04/01/2009 at 12:51pm - work - by tsardaukar (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96344) - you deserved it (9126)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78850) - you deserved it (162801)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work at a preschool. I was sitting outside with the kids and was getting bored so I started singing. One of the little girls runs up and puts her hand over my mouth and tells me to stop. I'm in a select chorus at my highschool and plan to major in choral studies in college. FML

#659124
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47061) - you deserved it (9919)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14am - kids - by justjust (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18289) - you deserved it (189152)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

#260093
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16500) - you deserved it (63064)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

#232857
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23703) - you deserved it (150701)

On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

#170978
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46615) - you deserved it (157423)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

#168595
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70649) - you deserved it (279918)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Sad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
954 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73064) - you deserved it (422982)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)



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