Samandra

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Samandra

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2781
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Samandra : Tacos.

Samandra's page activity

Visits<b>dumbmotherinlaw</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 1:39am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 3:46pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:46pm<b>Effulgence</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 3:05am<b>Skiturtle</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 4:48pm<b>A100893</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 4:12am<b>mabel123</b> - the 08/31/2012 at 9:35pm<b>venomousddog</b> - the 08/31/2012 at 1:23pm

Samandra's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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Samandra's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

by incestastic / 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

by mperrotta913 / 05/21/2010 at 11:46am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML

by dpod121 / 03/04/2010 at 2:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML

by GeneralElement / 02/19/2010 at 1:32am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML

by kaitlynn / 02/01/2010 at 3:56pm / Love

Today, my college professor/employer failed to send in a letter I had been counting on for a scholarship application. He has also decided not to pay me for the last two months. I'm not going to make rent. Apparently this is the punishment you get for politely declining a date with a married man. FML

by nothotforteacher / 01/07/2010 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML

by friendless / 12/03/2009 at 1:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML

by Oops / 11/01/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

by i.ask.you.how. / 07/12/2009 at 2:05am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML

by whoopsiedoodle / 05/21/2009 at 8:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

by dwek / 05/15/2009 at 7:07am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

by tvaladie / 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals