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Samandra

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Samandra

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1385
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Samandra : Tacos.

Samandra's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:46pm<b>Effulgence</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 3:05am<b>Skiturtle</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 4:48pm<b>lolle_p0p</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 4:37am<b>A100893</b> - the 09/10/2012 at 4:12am<b>mabel123</b> - the 08/31/2012 at 9:35pm<b>venomousddog</b> - the 08/31/2012 at 1:23pm

Samandra's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Samandra's badges

Samandra's favorite FMLs

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

#20112275
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34757) - you deserved it (2261)

On 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by future missing person maker person thingy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I completely shaved my head as a gesture for my boyfriend's mother, who was suffering from cancer and having a terrible time undergoing chemotherapy. Turns out she doesn't even have cancer, and my boyfriend thought I wouldn't have the guts to do it. FML

#20110360
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32508) - you deserved it (4785)

On 10/10/2012 at 11:05am - misc - by horriblejoke (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16101) - you deserved it (60898)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19604) - you deserved it (4194)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30602) - you deserved it (6423)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

#20103950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32945) - you deserved it (3628)

On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

#20103320
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20278) - you deserved it (1906)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46840) - you deserved it (1920)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27177) - you deserved it (2527)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20450) - you deserved it (2672)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

#20100352
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22684) - you deserved it (7368)

On 10/03/2012 at 7:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34657) - you deserved it (4738)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

#20098585
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24698) - you deserved it (1418)

On 10/02/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by ... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

#20096827
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19573) - you deserved it (3831)

On 10/01/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by dumbgirl4lyf (woman) - Ireland (Monaghan)



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