About Samandra : Tacos.
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Samandra's favorite FMLs
by Chuffy / 11/04/2012 at 2:28am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Health
by StormSeason / 10/29/2012 at 8:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML
by davifilo / 10/26/2012 at 5:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2012 at 1:45am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
by wtactualfuck :( / 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm / United States / Love
Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Love
Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 5:21am / United States / Money
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
by Andrew / 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United States / Intimacy
by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by puppylove / 10/20/2012 at 3:16am / United States / Animals
Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML
Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML
by AbandonedHouseWife / 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by fucking fratricidal / 10/13/2012 at 6:25pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I entered a stairwell, the fire alarm went off, triggering the automatic fire doors to close. The one I was walking through ran over my foot, ripping my toenail, and then smacked me in the face. FML
by minustoenail / 10/12/2012 at 1:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex… Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening… Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of 'whoever this…