About Samandra : Tacos.
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Samandra's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Love
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love
by emchocolat / 12/16/2012 at 11:55am / Europe / Miscellaneous
Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
by fuckmyassimcold / 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by MiscHats / 12/14/2012 at 7:28am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
by mysidesaresplitting / 12/14/2012 at 1:44am / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML
by ShadowReiku / 12/13/2012 at 3:39am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a cruise. I gave my bags to a porter, and tipped him $5. Later that night, my bags still hadn't arrived at my room, and that's when I realized that I'd paid a fake porter to steal my bags. FML
by McFizzy321 / 12/12/2012 at 10:43pm / United States (Florida) / Holidays
by Banana / 12/04/2012 at 11:04am / Puerto Rico / Transportation
by RyanJarmanForPresident / 11/23/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML
by AHole / 11/21/2012 at 9:03am / United States (North Dakota) / Transportation
by pheebs314 / 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Tj Hunt / 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm / United States / Love
by i fking love docb / 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm / Virgin Islands, U.S. / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came,… Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his,… Today, while making love, my girlfriend accidentally kicked me in the face when changing positions.…