Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SamSwebb

Offline (the 04/25/2015 at 2:52am) | Search for a member

SamSwebb

9Fucked!

SamSwebbSamSwebb
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5665
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SamSwebb : Hi 👋

SamSwebb's page activity

Visits<b>vlalam</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:17pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:25pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:31pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 7:13am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 7:04pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:33am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:03am<b>guitar93cd</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:07pm<b>Alexx2010</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:26am<b>Mmlopa14</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 5:03pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:23am<b>BBlah</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:39pm<b>this_ghetto</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:04pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Tierrastokes</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:25am

Fucked!<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 7:48am<b>marctdiaz</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:23am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:14am<b>StaceeeP</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:56am<b>Dylanlev05</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 6:26am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:40am<b>amamalfoy</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:05am<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:39am

SamSwebb's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of SamSwebb's badges

SamSwebb's favorite FMLs

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

#21318499
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29869) - you deserved it (2125)

On 12/16/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by shit_fer_luck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28961) - you deserved it (7232)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

#21314000
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31741) - you deserved it (5370)

On 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by #goodbyelife - United States

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

#21312253
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34949) - you deserved it (2484)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28033) - you deserved it (2412)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

#21307526
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29102) - you deserved it (11910)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:07pm - kids - by Ruinedchristmas (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38308) - you deserved it (3160)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML

#21302177
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30704) - you deserved it (5054)

On 11/19/2014 at 3:56pm - work - by bookworm - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

#21301098
121 comments

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32203) - you deserved it (3560)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

#21299790
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32699) - you deserved it (4429)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by omgdesdes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML

#21299716
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36363) - you deserved it (5502)

On 11/15/2014 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Slow_Walker (woman) - Georgia (Dushet'is Raioni)

Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML

#21298300
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (2598)

On 11/13/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by FuglyBetty (woman) - Norway (Aust-Agder)

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

#21297627
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (8316)

On 11/12/2014 at 11:00am - health - by juggalomurderer59 (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: