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SamSwebb

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SamSwebb

9Fucked!

SamSwebbSamSwebb
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5572
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SamSwebb : Hi 👋

SamSwebb's page activity

Visits<b>arasx0</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:25pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:31pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 7:13am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 7:04pm<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 12:33am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:03am<b>guitar93cd</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:07pm<b>Alexx2010</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 1:26am<b>Mmlopa14</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 5:03pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:23am<b>BBlah</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:39pm<b>this_ghetto</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:04pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Tierrastokes</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:14pm<b>Araj_Hs</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:25am<b>romanocheese</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:12am

Fucked!<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 7:48am<b>marctdiaz</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:23am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:14am<b>StaceeeP</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:56am<b>Dylanlev05</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 6:26am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:40am<b>amamalfoy</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:05am<b>FamousPeace</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:39am

SamSwebb's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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SamSwebb's favorite FMLs

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30990) - you deserved it (2430)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was playing Charades. My boyfriend, who I'd recently had a fight with, had trouble and just said his answer was the name of my celebrity twin. Nobody got it. He said "Really? It's Fat Bastard." Stunned silence followed, broken by a single "HAH." from my 'best friend'. FML

#21340816
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29463) - you deserved it (3392)

On 01/20/2015 at 6:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML

#21339686
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38263) - you deserved it (3299)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm - misc - by pissed out pants (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend bought a new toaster. It not only pops up the bread when done, it also beeps loudly. It makes me scream in terror every single time. My boyfriend has now vowed to "Toast 'til the end of time." It's going to be a long year. FML

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33239) - you deserved it (2644)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33353) - you deserved it (3471)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML

#21320382
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27456) - you deserved it (4635)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, someone backed straight into my car as I was hunting for a parking spot. I just got my car back from the body shop after a hit-and-run. FML

#21318499
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29866) - you deserved it (2125)

On 12/16/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by shit_fer_luck (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28949) - you deserved it (7229)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

#21314000
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31740) - you deserved it (5370)

On 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by #goodbyelife - United States

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

#21312253
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34938) - you deserved it (2483)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

#21311698
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28026) - you deserved it (2411)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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