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SamSwebb

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SamSwebb
  • Town/Country : London, England
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 545
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About SamSwebb : Just wandering through life..

SamSwebb's last visitors

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SamSwebb's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50224) - you deserved it (12046)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34072) - you deserved it (13138)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, on Facebook, someone wrote a status implying that she was going to kill herself. I called a mutual friend, asking to check up on her. The next status the girl puts up said, "Someone thought I was going to commit suicide! Haha what a loser!" FML

#21071970
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46572) - you deserved it (3971)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:31am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML

#21062237
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36084) - you deserved it (16193)

On 02/16/2014 at 7:56am - money - by anon - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44165) - you deserved it (5976)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39706) - you deserved it (20487)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44899) - you deserved it (3520)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47274) - you deserved it (5526)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML

#21037274
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45236) - you deserved it (4420)

On 01/23/2014 at 3:57pm - love - by heartbrokenhaley - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard my mum tell my sister that she should make me a bridesmaid at her wedding. My sister scoffed, "She looks like Shamu, mum. I can't have THAT in my wedding pics." followed by laughter and my mum saying, "Touché." FML

#21031087
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46970) - you deserved it (5935)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50515) - you deserved it (11262)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

#21025356
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40909) - you deserved it (3116)

On 01/12/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by tired individual (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44854) - you deserved it (11662)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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