Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SamMelody

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

SamMelody

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 202
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

SamMelody's page activity

Visits<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:16am<b>pks2014</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:57am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 5:30pm<b>Cynical_D_Luffy</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:45pm

SamMelody's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of SamMelody's badges

SamMelody's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

#21311702
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34508) - you deserved it (2982)

On 12/04/2014 at 10:33pm - love - by Sad Chef ;( - United States

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

#21192717
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (55103)

On 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49879) - you deserved it (4459)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I got billed for $80 of Justin Bieber music. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were my daughter who bought it all, instead of my husband. FML

#21096936
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40622) - you deserved it (3946)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by husbands addiction - United States (California)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
189 comments

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

#21082250
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52686) - you deserved it (9497)

On 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by fuck russia and fuck georgia too (man) - Azerbaijan

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48311) - you deserved it (7497)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50798) - you deserved it (9295)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45909) - you deserved it (4836)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66989) - you deserved it (4073)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56279) - you deserved it (12000)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76246) - you deserved it (3708)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73155) - you deserved it (7231)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73349) - you deserved it (6164)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: