SamMelody

Search for a member

Offline (the 03/07/2016 at 9:42pm)

SamMelody

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 715
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

SamMelody's page activity

Visits<b>totallynotemily</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 1:48pm<b>decoydualist</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 6:10am<b>ayanna_wright</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 10:50pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 11:14am<b>Shuff52</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 1:11am<b>toaster87</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 4:16pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 2:39am<b>Marcelb</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:41pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:15am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:19am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:33am<b>lefsetang</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 2:52am<b>PicanteSeed</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:24pm<b>condor216</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:11am<b>ImaginaryPerson</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 7:16am<b>pks2014</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:57am<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 5:30pm<b>Cynical_D_Luffy</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 6:45pm

Fucked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:16pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:19am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:33pm

SamMelody's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of SamMelody's badges

SamMelody's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

by Sad Chef ;( / 12/04/2014 at 10:33pm / United States / Love

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

by whoops / 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

by bruised_scrotum / 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health

Today, I got billed for $80 of Justin Bieber music. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were my daughter who bought it all, instead of my husband. FML

by husbands addiction / 03/26/2014 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

by SpilledWater93 / 03/09/2014 at 11:07pm / Ireland (Wicklow) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

by fuck russia and fuck georgia too / 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm / Azerbaijan / Intimacy

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

by coppervains / 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

by suckstosuck / 07/23/2013 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

by need € for new iron / 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy