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SamKiwi

Offline (the 08/29/2015 at 6:08pm) | Search for a member

SamKiwi

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 February 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2557
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SamKiwi's page activity

Visits<b>_OF_WG_KTA_</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:54am<b>hammerhead2015</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 7:38pm<b>leopardwilliam</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:19am<b>Eabbs</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:19am<b>sarah2144</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 3:08am<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:54am<b>joe3</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:57pm<b>MrCommunism</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:04pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:00am<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 9:09am<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 9:48pm<b>muarif</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:09am<b>hkhan24</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:42am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:42am<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:01am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:32pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:28pm

Fucked!<b>_OF_WG_KTA_</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 6:54am<b>hammerhead2015</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:39am<b>tranced_</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 4:01pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 3:10pm<b>hkhan24</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:43pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:01am

SamKiwi's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of SamKiwi's badges

SamKiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

#5482819
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32923) - you deserved it (2879)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48067) - you deserved it (3740)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48067) - you deserved it (3740)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48067) - you deserved it (3740)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66314) - you deserved it (16743)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

#4157203
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39324) - you deserved it (3965)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML

#4155760
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12396) - you deserved it (38958)

On 07/30/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73846) - you deserved it (4573)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

#3364803
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53860) - you deserved it (3360)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I was testing for figure skating. I was wearing a brand new custom dress that was a halter top. On my first move, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Immediately after retaking the move, my dress snapped open, exposing myself to the judges. FML

#3316685
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47542) - you deserved it (5228)

On 06/28/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by sk8rgurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

#3261545
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66921) - you deserved it (27758)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML

#3097066
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37022) - you deserved it (21031)

On 06/21/2009 at 6:10pm - kids - by loli-conned (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML

#2953608
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45690) - you deserved it (4588)

On 06/16/2009 at 8:59pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

#2406787
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22533) - you deserved it (46906)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by LALALALA (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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