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SamKiwi

Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 11:24pm) | Search for a member

SamKiwi

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 February 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1841
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SamKiwi's page activity

Visits<b>IceMan11</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:06am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:31pm<b>BrewPack</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 9:47am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:48am<b>wastedpenguin</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:58am<b>emiterio96</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:20am<b>FML102938</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:34am<b>jacob_bomb</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 8:51am<b>MattBenid</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 6:16am<b>driftking51</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:01am<b>DontMindMeAtAll</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 10:56pm<b>nubbles10</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 3:01pm<b>Raleigh_bruh</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 10:27pm<b>boredguyyy</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 4:29pm<b>Baucis</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 8:42am<b>swint777</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 5:56pm<b>rob02</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 3:19am<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 4:14pm

SamKiwi's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of SamKiwi's badges

SamKiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

#12760646
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13142) - you deserved it (38758)

On 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML

#12748631
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26373) - you deserved it (5265)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by devigsgirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, after staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time, I got in the shower. His bathroom door doesn't lock, so half way through my shower he walked in. Trying to be sexy, I pressed myself up against the glass, which turned out the be a door that opens outwards. I fell on the floor. FML

#10939026
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18927) - you deserved it (37311)

On 06/03/2010 at 4:54am - intimacy - by elevenharries (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to IHOP for breakfast. As we were leaving, I realized a little girl took my Hello Kitty hairclip. For the next 5 minutes, I fought with an 8 year-old for a hairclip. She won. FML

#9043466
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10918) - you deserved it (25084)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:13am - misc - by googoogaga (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

#8769205
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (3241)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved

Today, I was teaching a class and my student pointed out that I used the wrong "your" while writing on the board. FML

#7357250
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5446) - you deserved it (42125)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:39pm - work - by englishfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20893) - you deserved it (6226)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year old guy. FML

#6763164
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7595) - you deserved it (29221)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by wjones (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22179) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

#6439665
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11666) - you deserved it (36264)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by xkellybabyyx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11938) - you deserved it (48373)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was showing my friend's dad an airsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him, I thought it would be funny to do a fake, upwards "pistol whip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML

#5908377
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5134) - you deserved it (39309)

On 10/20/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by gunman (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64544) - you deserved it (4720)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)



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