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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
It’s in the can
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Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9359) - you deserved it (31627)
On 11/24/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by xkellybabyyx - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8971) - you deserved it (36867)
On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52371) - you deserved it (5136)
On 10/27/2009 at 9:27am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was showing my friend's dad an airsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him, I thought it would be funny to do a fake, upwards "pistol whip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3519) - you deserved it (28776)
On 10/20/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by gunman (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56409) - you deserved it (3657)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27704) - you deserved it (2202)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38332) - you deserved it (2615)
On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38332) - you deserved it (2615)
On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38332) - you deserved it (2615)
On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54607) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (123053)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32079) - you deserved it (2867)
On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I cleaned my house after a big party. Everything was great when my parents came home. Except for the bottle of hot and spicy mustard next to the shampoo in the shower. No one knows how it got there. I'm busted because of mustard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9119) - you deserved it (31624)
On 07/30/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61117) - you deserved it (3615)
On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47057) - you deserved it (2849)
On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong
Monday 20 May 2013
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