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SamKiwi

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SamKiwi
  • Town/Country : Essex, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 February 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1256
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SamKiwi's last visitors

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SamKiwi's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of SamKiwi's badges

SamKiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31374) - you deserved it (3073)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

#14924487
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6822) - you deserved it (54734)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by acab93 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12840) - you deserved it (34217) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38062) - you deserved it (25746) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28324) - you deserved it (18981) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

#14090266
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4064) - you deserved it (45721)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

#13998291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (10313)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, was my girlfriend's birthday. I planned it to perfection: we went shopping, bowling, had lunch in a nice Italian restaurant, watched a French comedy, walked by the river. She also got many presents. Tonight, I was exhausted but happy for her... until she told me her birthday is tomorrow. FML

#13830674
131 comments

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

#13717829
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20195) - you deserved it (5844)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

#12760646
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11121) - you deserved it (35576)

On 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML

#12748631
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21408) - you deserved it (4044)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by devigsgirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to IHOP for breakfast. As we were leaving, I realized a little girl took my Hello Kitty hairclip. For the next 5 minutes, I fought with an 8 year-old for a hairclip. She won. FML

#9043466
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (22023)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:13am - misc - by googoogaga (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

#8769205
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16943) - you deserved it (3046)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved

Today, I was teaching a class and my student pointed out that I used the wrong "your" while writing on the board. FML

#7357250
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4172) - you deserved it (37680)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:39pm - work - by englishfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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