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SamKiwi

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SamKiwi

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 February 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1752
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SamKiwi's page activity

Visits<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:31pm<b>BrewPack</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 9:47am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:48am<b>wastedpenguin</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:58am<b>emiterio96</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:20am<b>FML102938</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:34am<b>jacob_bomb</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 8:51am<b>MattBenid</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 6:16am<b>driftking51</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:01am<b>DontMindMeAtAll</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 10:56pm<b>nubbles10</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 3:01pm<b>Raleigh_bruh</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 10:27pm<b>boredguyyy</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 4:29pm<b>Baucis</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 8:42am<b>swint777</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 5:56pm<b>rob02</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 3:19am<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 4:14pm<b>abu4u</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 2:18pm

SamKiwi's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of SamKiwi's badges

SamKiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

#15063215
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24893) - you deserved it (27046)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:07am - intimacy - by weezer - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

#15059457
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36679) - you deserved it (13220)

On 02/21/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7278) - you deserved it (96744)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33450) - you deserved it (6713)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46811) - you deserved it (9272)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33416) - you deserved it (3245)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

#14924487
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7371) - you deserved it (57071)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by acab93 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14405) - you deserved it (36813) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40786) - you deserved it (26846) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30757) - you deserved it (19940) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

#14090266
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5552) - you deserved it (59214)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

#13998291
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30419) - you deserved it (13893)

On 11/27/2010 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, was my girlfriend's birthday. I planned it to perfection: we went shopping, bowling, had lunch in a nice Italian restaurant, watched a French comedy, walked by the river. She also got many presents. Tonight, I was exhausted but happy for her... until she told me her birthday is tomorrow. FML

#13830674
134 comments

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

#13717829
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24749) - you deserved it (7649)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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