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SamKiwi

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SamKiwi

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 February 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1833
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SamKiwi's page activity

Visits<b>IceMan11</b> - yesterday at 9:06am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:31pm<b>BrewPack</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 9:47am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:48am<b>wastedpenguin</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:58am<b>emiterio96</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:20am<b>FML102938</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:34am<b>jacob_bomb</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 8:51am<b>MattBenid</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 6:16am<b>driftking51</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:01am<b>DontMindMeAtAll</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 10:56pm<b>nubbles10</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 3:01pm<b>Raleigh_bruh</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 10:27pm<b>boredguyyy</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 4:29pm<b>Baucis</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 8:42am<b>swint777</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 5:56pm<b>rob02</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 3:19am<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 4:14pm

SamKiwi's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of SamKiwi's badges

SamKiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

#15290209
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23913) - you deserved it (13472)

On 03/13/2011 at 3:39am - misc - by Sparks (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11664) - you deserved it (37338)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

#15284565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42538) - you deserved it (5624)

On 03/12/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by vlcardenx3 (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

#15281209
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41746) - you deserved it (3350)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45548) - you deserved it (7717)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

#15270660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27252) - you deserved it (4115)

On 03/11/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML

#15266054
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (19492)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by shia -

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36697) - you deserved it (6539)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

#15103887
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31719) - you deserved it (4804)

On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

#15102397
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32654) - you deserved it (15937)

On 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm - intimacy - by Animal (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

#15098216
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13234) - you deserved it (31326)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by Annie (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML

#15084151
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29929) - you deserved it (4404)

On 02/22/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21039) - you deserved it (32802)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML

#15067918
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35099) - you deserved it (6951)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by Clare (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally taught my mom how to text message people. Now I get a message from her every 30 seconds saying "Hi". FML

#15066931
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25583) - you deserved it (14799)

On 02/21/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by moweezy9 (woman) - United States (Washington)



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