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SamKiwi

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SamKiwi
  • Town/Country : Essex, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 February 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1261
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SamKiwi's last visitors

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SamKiwi's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of SamKiwi's badges

SamKiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

#15270660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22416) - you deserved it (3273)

On 03/11/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML

#15266054
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18892) - you deserved it (17745)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by shia -

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31361) - you deserved it (5399)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get fitted for a new bra since mine weren't fitting properly. To my amazement, I wasn't a 32A, but a 32AA. I might as well have craters on my chest. FML

#15103887
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28863) - you deserved it (4552)

On 02/24/2011 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

#15102397
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29034) - you deserved it (14947)

On 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm - intimacy - by Animal (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

#15098216
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11079) - you deserved it (27483)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by Annie (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML

#15084151
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (4195)

On 02/22/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18717) - you deserved it (30461)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML

#15067918
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32061) - you deserved it (6549)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by Clare (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally taught my mom how to text message people. Now I get a message from her every 30 seconds saying "Hi". FML

#15066931
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20808) - you deserved it (11958)

On 02/21/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by moweezy9 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

#15063215
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23981) - you deserved it (26294)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:07am - intimacy - by weezer - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

#15059457
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33249) - you deserved it (12119)

On 02/21/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6863) - you deserved it (93412)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30366) - you deserved it (6400)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44124) - you deserved it (8911)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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