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SamKiwi

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SamKiwi

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 February 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2512
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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SamKiwi's page activity

Visits<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:54am<b>joe3</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:57pm<b>MrCommunism</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:04pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:00am<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 9:09am<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 9:48pm<b>muarif</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 8:09am<b>python199</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:52am<b>hkhan24</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:42am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:42am<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:01am<b>_OF_WG_KTA_</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:20am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:32pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:03pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 9:28pm<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 5:20pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 12:00am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 4:02am

Fucked!<b>tranced_</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 4:01pm<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 3:10pm<b>python199</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:52pm<b>hkhan24</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 12:43pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 7:01am

SamKiwi's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of SamKiwi's badges

SamKiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

#15901266
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11252) - you deserved it (48912)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm - animals - by bobo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84715) - you deserved it (6346)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I watched a YouTube video at work because I was bored. I forgot I was on a conference call and my computer's desktop was shared with 15 other people. No one said anything till it ended. FML

#15881339
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8230) - you deserved it (38915)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by anonymous -

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML

#15881226
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33844) - you deserved it (21723)

On 04/22/2011 at 1:08am - intimacy - by HotACE -

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

#15658091
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (45961)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mother I have a girlfriend. Her first answer was "Does she know?" FML

#15655514
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36953) - you deserved it (4825)

On 04/05/2011 at 8:00pm - misc - by notacreeper -

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

#15636235
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42130) - you deserved it (11395)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready for school. Wanting me to prove I was really awake, he made me sit up. As soon as he left my room, I dozed off and faceplanted my nightstand. FML

#15635738
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10862) - you deserved it (39887)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Username - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn't tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. FML

#15635122
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45583) - you deserved it (3329)

On 04/04/2011 at 12:23pm - love - by carolinagirl (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML

#15631458
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31329) - you deserved it (6776)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Mozambique (Maputo)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50596) - you deserved it (28311)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, eating my weight in breadsticks at Olive Garden and trying to relive my childhood via a pogo stick was not a good combination. My new shoes are now a different color. FML

#15297334
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7686) - you deserved it (35827)

On 03/13/2011 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13633) - you deserved it (70275)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to wait an hour in the awful rain for my mom to pick me up, because she didn't realize the clocks had gone forward already. FML

#15295862
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (3859)

On 03/13/2011 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML

#15291408
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48849) - you deserved it (3826)

On 03/13/2011 at 8:48am - misc - by randinosaur - United States (Delaware)



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