About SamFosheezy : Samantha. Filipino. Hurdler. Twitter & Instagram: @SamFosheezy
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23386) - you deserved it (1481)
On 05/28/2012 at 6:15am - misc - by Ladieda (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad turns around and says he was expecting him to have a guide dog. This is why I don't have much confidence in myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18594) - you deserved it (1155)
On 05/27/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by hitnmiss66 (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25551) - you deserved it (6301)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, I am on vacation in the Smoky Mountains with my parents. They just decided to take me to the place I was conceived seventeen years ago: a bench at a public park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17949) - you deserved it (1371)
On 05/24/2012 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML
I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (2799)
On 05/23/2012 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21540) - you deserved it (1648)
On 05/19/2012 at 6:54pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22243) - you deserved it (2090)
On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37000) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (1597)
On 05/15/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by uni life (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23632) - you deserved it (1288)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29708) - you deserved it (1944)
On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22162) - you deserved it (1573)
On 12/06/2010 at 11:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (2012)
On 11/15/2010 at 3:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27690) - you deserved it (5663)
On 05/29/2010 at 12:14am - health - by fmlpanda (woman) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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