About SamCat : "You haven’t lost your smile at all, it’s right under your nose. You just forgot it was there."
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SamCat's favorite FMLs
by Oihana / 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
by wtf did he do / 07/19/2015 at 5:02am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML
by notgay / 06/21/2015 at 2:04am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by feels like an asshole / 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm / United States / Health
Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML
by Distracted / 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
by screwedupfuck / 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
by smooth / 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm / United States / Work
Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML
by thanks a lot mom / 12/28/2014 at 1:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML
by newly passed, newly grassed / 12/06/2014 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
by has an old monitor / 12/05/2014 at 9:00am / Germany (Berlin) / Geek
by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love
by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…