Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SamCat

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

SamCat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 732
  • Number of comments : 188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SamCat : "You haven’t lost your smile at all, it’s right under your nose. You just forgot it was there."

SamCat's page activity

Visits<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:48pm<b>whyalliewhy</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 7:56pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:36pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:35pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 3:57pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 1:19pm<b>tacogirl</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:25am<b>MedStudent90</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:28am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 10:42am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 3:17pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:14am<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 10:15pm<b>Camlin93</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm<b>Paultheouctopus</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:42am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:39pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 4:38pm<b>suckmideck</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 12:17am

SamCat's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of SamCat's badges

SamCat's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

#21450242
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26583) - you deserved it (1817)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm - kids - by Oihana - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

#21449578
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26428) - you deserved it (2077)

On 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML

#21443899
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (2039)

On 07/19/2015 at 5:02am - misc - by wtf did he do - United States (Alaska)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

#21443815
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30928) - you deserved it (4283)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

#21429349
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25553) - you deserved it (2993)

On 06/21/2015 at 2:04am - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

#21423425
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24030) - you deserved it (2920)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm - health - by feels like an asshole - United States

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15501) - you deserved it (38734)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

#21382528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25322) - you deserved it (5695)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm - work - by screwedupfuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

#21327404
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (16830)

On 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm - work - by smooth - United States

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32713) - you deserved it (3188)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

#21312517
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28233) - you deserved it (7210)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:04pm - misc - by newly passed, newly grassed (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, the family computer's 15-year-old CRT monitor which gives me headaches finally stopped working. My dad quickly found a replacement: an even older CRT monitor that gives me worse headaches. FML

#21311912
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31310) - you deserved it (3027)

On 12/05/2014 at 9:00am - misc - by has an old monitor (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30162) - you deserved it (3536)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38626) - you deserved it (3870)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53467) - you deserved it (10761)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: