SamCat

Search for a member

Offline (the 01/30/2016 at 6:05pm)

SamCat

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 957
  • Number of comments : 189
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SamCat : "You haven’t lost your smile at all, it’s right under your nose. You just forgot it was there."

SamCat's page activity

Visits<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 2:12pm<b>losersanonymous</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 6:52am<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 10:07am<b>FMLollipop</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 2:30am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:35am<b>thefierytaco</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 6:19pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 6:59am<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 6:52am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 2:22am<b>xn3x</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 1:29am<b>Tenker</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 1:06am<b>alxro091</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:59am<b>IcemistDragon</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:26am<b>Joshoa123</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:23am<b>olillia</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:52pm<b>Emyame</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:35pm<b>docsnow84</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 11:33pm<b>wrr124</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:09pm

Fucked!<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:59pm

SamCat's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of SamCat's badges

SamCat's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

by Oihana / 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML

by wtf did he do / 07/19/2015 at 5:02am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I brought my best friend home and told my dad we were going to study together. He loudly replied "Woah!", stumbled around for a few seconds like he was drunk, then apologized and said the "sheer amount of gayness" between us had overloaded his gaydar. We're not gay, dammit! FML

by notgay / 06/21/2015 at 2:04am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

by feels like an asshole / 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm / United States / Health

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

by Distracted / 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

by screwedupfuck / 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

by smooth / 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm / United States / Work

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

by thanks a lot mom / 12/28/2014 at 1:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

by newly passed, newly grassed / 12/06/2014 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, the family computer's 15-year-old CRT monitor which gives me headaches finally stopped working. My dad quickly found a replacement: an even older CRT monitor that gives me worse headaches. FML

by has an old monitor / 12/05/2014 at 9:00am / Germany (Berlin) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health