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Sam0011

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Sam0011

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 25 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 227
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Sam0011 : Hi, I like to go on FML because it makes my day feel a ton less shitty.

Sam0011's page activity

Visits<b>OhMyOhMila</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 4:21pm<b>loriprieto</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:03pm<b>Kitty19</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:04pm

Sam0011's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Sam0011's badges

Sam0011's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27071) - you deserved it (85177)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57538) - you deserved it (6012)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86272) - you deserved it (6180)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22178) - you deserved it (89117)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while chatting with a friend online, I told her that Kristen Stewart isn't going to star in the 50 Shades movie as she originally thought. She then spammed me with so many "NO"/"NO WAY" messages that my crappy laptop froze up, forcing me to reboot and lose a ton of unsaved essay notes. FML

#20879898
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39915) - you deserved it (11017)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by CHEERS, TUMBLTARD (woman) -

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17853) - you deserved it (128261)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53144) - you deserved it (6907)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33604) - you deserved it (3881)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

#20098412
122 comments

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

#19277499
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8884) - you deserved it (53275)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68104) - you deserved it (6263)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40095) - you deserved it (26550) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML

#14512160
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68560) - you deserved it (3648)

On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you deserved it (3391)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)



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