SalviBarbie

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Offline (the 08/20/2016 at 2:56pm)

SalviBarbie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 November 1999 (16 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6001
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SalviBarbie : 😌😌

SalviBarbie's page activity

Visits<b>weedle99</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 10:14am<b>IAm123</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 3:10am<b>rhiley</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 6:54am<b>Altairae</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 3:11am<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 9:18am<b>dvlightful</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:07pm<b>threer</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 11:15pm<b>jonathan896</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Theater_Chef_3</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Nail7777</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:56am<b>jerzjay</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:13am<b>KirstynG13</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 4:22pm<b>oceanbrickfire</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 11:23am<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:45pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:02am<b>smileyemsen</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 2:15pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:34pm

SalviBarbie's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of SalviBarbie's badges

SalviBarbie's favorite FMLs

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

by kirstyrd / 08/12/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2014 at 8:34pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML

by poorman / 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2014 at 1:24pm / Germany (Bayern) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

by painedandpissed / 08/10/2014 at 12:42pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML

by jakethemuss / 08/09/2014 at 7:03pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 11:43am / India (Maharashtra) / Geek

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

by muffins / 08/09/2014 at 9:50am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 9:31am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 4:56am / Malawi / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I tried out a website where you upload pictures of two people, and it shows you what their future children might look like. She actually started crying because the kid we were shown wasn't cute enough for her liking. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2014 at 11:19pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes to do things the old-fashioned way, and that he wouldn't propose to me without my father's blessing. My dad died 3 years ago, and he knows it. FML

by lonethong15 / 08/08/2014 at 6:53pm / United States (Texas) / Love