Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SalviBarbie

Offline (the 03/15/2015 at 2:50pm) | Search for a member

SalviBarbie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2799
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SalviBarbie : I'm the one on the left in my profile pic.
Salvi is short for el salvadorian.
If you're on my bad side, you're stuck there. If you're on my good side, that can always change. Message me if you'd like, my mood always affects my replies.

SalviBarbie's page activity

Visits<b>smileyemsen</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 2:15pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:34pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:30pm<b>Paras_800</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:49pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 7:42pm<b>thatbigboy1016</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:14am<b>ricardof</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Nooblah</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 7:45pm<b>SychoticFML</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 2:42pm<b>jcovey19</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 10:32am<b>qwerty401</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 2:01am<b>maxyutd</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 9:17pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 5:14am<b>Bryanb1306</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 3:01am<b>ccr386590</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:19pm<b>icekitten14</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:58pm<b>FanOfAnimations</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:04pm<b>saucetheman</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 12:16am

SalviBarbie's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of SalviBarbie's badges

SalviBarbie's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44857) - you deserved it (16592)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45596) - you deserved it (3196)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

#21238533
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38734) - you deserved it (6123)

On 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband wanted me to take a sleeping pill before having sex with me. Apparently I'm better in bed while half-asleep. FML

#21238124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41770) - you deserved it (5654)

On 08/15/2014 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML

#21237898
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35732) - you deserved it (10251)

On 08/15/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53777) - you deserved it (5449)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40365) - you deserved it (3255)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML

#21237592
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15055) - you deserved it (72528)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37765) - you deserved it (8283)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

#21237096
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35164) - you deserved it (14473)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my professor told everyone that he thinks all med students should be required to get a catheter and an enema at least once in their lives so they can relate to their patients, saying, "Gentlemen, it might change your lives." FML

#21236595
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36520) - you deserved it (6622)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

#21236025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41282) - you deserved it (8868)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43282) - you deserved it (10419)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

#21235555
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (32735)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by kirstyrd - United States (Michigan)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: