Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SalviBarbie

Offline (the 10/14/2014 at 7:20pm) | Search for a member

SalviBarbie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1016
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SalviBarbie : I'm the one on the left in my profile pic.
Salvi is short for el salvadorian.
If you're on my bad side, you're stuck there. If you're on my good side, that can always change. Message me if you'd like, my mood always affects my replies.

SalviBarbie's page activity

Visits<b>ccr386590</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:19pm<b>icekitten14</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:58pm<b>FanOfAnimations</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:04pm<b>saucetheman</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 12:16am<b>abattior</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:08pm<b>Bryanb1306</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:04am<b>ricardof</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:10pm<b>HomelessDonut</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 8:30pm<b>icnburbbygrl</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:03pm<b>noway1987</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:25pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:40pm<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:44am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:22am<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:20pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 12:22am<b>ball_so_hard</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:27pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 9:46pm<b>ashleylove0525</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:12pm

SalviBarbie's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of SalviBarbie's badges

SalviBarbie's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42326) - you deserved it (2716)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

#21241880
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42358) - you deserved it (6893)

On 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45701) - you deserved it (7606)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (38663)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64548) - you deserved it (4110)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43539) - you deserved it (16544)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (44704)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43981) - you deserved it (16391)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML

#21238688
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44187) - you deserved it (3085)

On 08/16/2014 at 1:09am - misc - by bad birthdays - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

#21238533
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38570) - you deserved it (6103)

On 08/15/2014 at 10:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband wanted me to take a sleeping pill before having sex with me. Apparently I'm better in bed while half-asleep. FML

#21238124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41133) - you deserved it (5618)

On 08/15/2014 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML

#21237898
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35110) - you deserved it (9989)

On 08/15/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50441) - you deserved it (4898)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: