SalviBarbie

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Offline (the 07/16/2015 at 6:24pm)

SalviBarbie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5243
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About SalviBarbie : I'm the one on the left in my profile pic.
Salvi is short for el salvadorian.
If you're on my bad side, you're stuck there. If you're on my good side, that can always change. Message me if you'd like, my mood always affects my replies.

SalviBarbie's page activity

Visits<b>rhiley</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 6:54am<b>Altairae</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 3:11am<b>Rich531</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 9:18am<b>dvlightful</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:07pm<b>threer</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 11:15pm<b>jonathan896</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:23pm<b>Theater_Chef_3</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Nail7777</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:56am<b>jerzjay</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:13am<b>KirstynG13</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 4:22pm<b>oceanbrickfire</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 11:23am<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:45pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:25pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:02am<b>smileyemsen</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 2:15pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:34pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:30pm<b>Paras_800</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:49pm

SalviBarbie's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of SalviBarbie's badges

SalviBarbie's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

by hannahka / 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, after finally getting rid of an extremely rude, abusive customer, I muttered that I could kill people like her. I didn't know my manager had heard me, until a pair of police officers arrived. He'd reported me for "threatening to murder a customer". FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2014 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (Slough) / Work

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2014 at 12:16pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

by Amithatevil / 08/29/2014 at 8:35am / Japan (Kanagawa) / Kids

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

by wowzer / 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm / Puerto Rico / Love

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 12:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

by Woops / 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

by byebyeromance / 08/25/2014 at 9:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

by nhyari / 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

by JackieD / 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

by Alisterine / 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2014 at 1:51am / United States (New York) / Love