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Salvanoi's FML badges
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Salvanoi's favorite FMLs
Today, after two weeks of intense detective work, I found out my wife isn't cheating on me after all. She really has just been going out and playing table tennis with her friend like she said. Who the hell even plays table tennis? FML
by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 8:40am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm pretty sure my sister is being catfished. Now I have the choice of either telling her and risking her staying with her abusive husband or letting her think her new "boyfriend" is a good guy who didn't just "accidentally" send me a shower picture. FML
by gross / 06/11/2016 at 3:56am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, the checkout guy at my local store asked me if I had my hair cut. I answered and started talking about my hair, and he gave me a really weird look. He was talking to his friend, who I hadn't noticed in the queue behind me. FML
by figcurzyez / 05/23/2016 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
by forever_young / 05/13/2016 at 9:03am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by superb12345 / 05/11/2016 at 10:50pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by foreveryoung / 04/30/2016 at 12:23pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition. My parents seemed very sympathetic and my mother even cried. When we got home, though, they started laughing and asked if I really believed all the shit the doctor was talking about. FML
by parentalnightmare / 04/16/2016 at 12:13am / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, my 12 and 14 year olds told me they'll be doing whatever they like from now on and there will be no rules or bedtime, otherwise they'll tell their teachers that my husband and I abuse them. Where did I go wrong? FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2016 at 5:43pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by tatertotes13 / 04/05/2016 at 1:37pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 12:11am / United States (Maryland) / Money
Today, my roommate used my PC without asking. Long story short, it's now infected with ransomware. The dissertation I've been working on for months is now encrypted, along with all the backups on my second hard drive. Now I have to pay the hackers $1,500 to get the decryption key. FML
by Anonymous / 03/19/2016 at 8:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I've been awake for 4 days. My doctor recently put me on enough sleeping pills to kill a small country, but when I take them it's like a shot of adrenaline. I'm wide awake and tired as all hell at the same time. FML
by dead / 03/18/2016 at 3:40pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, after meticulously rereading my application, merging references, budgets, academic transcripts and itineraries for an amazing scholarship, I clicked submit, only to remember that the system was on Daylight Savings time, which we don't have in my state! I missed out on $2,500 by 3 minutes. FML
by PoorForever / 02/28/2016 at 8:53am / Australia (Queensland) / Money
Today, I returned to work after taking two days off to find I'd been fired. Why? For not being at work on those two days. Everything was agreed in writing, all trace of which has mysteriously vanished. I can't work until HR sorts it out, and nobody can tell me how long that'll take. FML
by Anonymous / 02/12/2016 at 8:56pm / United States (Texas) / Work