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Sal_Plissken

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Sal_Plissken

0Fucked!

Sal_PlisskenSal_Plissken
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 814
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Sal_Plissken : 18, a visionary robbed by fate. Look for your light, and keep it safe. I'm a listener, so if you need someone to talk to, I'll be there to listen. I don't hide the truth, so you can expect a sincere response at all times; it's not easy but someone has to do it. Don't let anyone else tell you who are, you make a name for yourself and you earn respect, if they don't want to respect it, reply in kind.

Sal_Plissken's page activity

Visits<b>delilablue95</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:58am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:30am<b>tantanpanda</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:19am<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 6:11am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 2:28pm<b>123765</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:15pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:16pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 12:10am<b>itscare1217</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:50pm<b>letmehavemytea</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:21am<b>MrGauss</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 5:02pm<b>thelifelesson</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Janiney</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 8:35am<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:36am<b>Terri_Dactal</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 8:23pm<b>speechprincess</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 9:57am<b>EllaJSwiftie</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 1:52pm

Sal_Plissken's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of Sal_Plissken's badges

Sal_Plissken's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32153) - you deserved it (2588)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27867) - you deserved it (16491)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31972) - you deserved it (2154)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25844) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She decided I just need to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML

#21377689
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27267) - you deserved it (2161)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:24am - health - by david99021 (man) - Turkey (Ankara)

Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML

#21368890
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35194) - you deserved it (2784)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:38pm - love - by Not Homeless - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18740) - you deserved it (55367)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29646) - you deserved it (13092)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30999) - you deserved it (2430)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML

#21338935
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28444) - you deserved it (5740)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm - love - by wounded pride, intact cock (man) - United States

Today, I had lunch with my parents. I'm an Asian guy who married a Puerto Rican woman and we just had a boy. My dad looks at my son, then looks at me and says, "You ruined the bloodline." FML

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

#21327463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33242) - you deserved it (2644)

On 12/30/2014 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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