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SakuraFubuki92's favorite FMLs
by sockmonkey / 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
by gottalovefriends / 04/23/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by spougeineye1 / 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/03/2012 at 10:16am / Australia (Victoria) / Health
by azmom / 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids
Today, I moved out of my apartment by the highway and airport, and into a new place below people who blast loud music, stomp their feet, and slam doors throughout the night. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over a year. FML
by SakuraFubuki92 / 03/11/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML
by poop / 02/28/2012 at 2:10am / United States / Transportation
by malloreigh / 02/28/2012 at 12:19am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by corey / 02/27/2012 at 10:41pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 02/27/2012 at 9:12pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…