About Sakeyaki : I go on here for shits and giggles.
I listen to Muse, Coldplay, Secondhand Serenade, Daft Punk, Franz Ferdinand, and Yellowcard.
I'm a senior in high school and I plan on going to college for Computer Science and MAYBE minor in web design.
And don't bother sending me shit about how you want to fuck me or how hawt I am, I'm taken. :I I get the same shit every day, kthx.
About Sakeyaki : I go on here for shits and giggles.
Sakeyaki's FML badges
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Sakeyaki's favorite FMLs
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML
by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was first in line at a stoplight. After five minutes, with a line of cars behind me, the light was still red. People behind me started honking, so I decided to just go. Halfway across the way, I was greeted by a camera flash. Nobody else went. FML
by publicenemy / 09/15/2009 at 8:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after picking up my 6 year old from school, he says, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML
by jeph23 / 09/11/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work
Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 10:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was leaving my job at a huge mall. I couldn't find my car anywhere, so I panicked and flagged a security officer. I cried while he drove me around for miles in the endless parking lot. Then, suddenly, I remembered. My friend had dropped me off in the morning. FML
by ritz / 09/10/2009 at 10:15am / United States (Florida) / Transportation
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Holidays
Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 5:58am / New Zealand (Otago) / Miscellaneous
by Curt / 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
by HeShe / 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML
by DrGas / 09/04/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML
by itzcorinnelove / 08/18/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
by hunnydoll / 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Kansas) / Love
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job… Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to… Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML